icopythat

12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

thedailywhat:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

[reddit.]

"I'm too old for that."

I am 31. I said the above in regards to a whether I should drive or fly to Austin, and learning the drive would be 24 hours long.

This is my 2,000th tumblr post.

I remember putting “since 2007” on my title page as a joke, because, well, it WAS 2007. Now that seems long ago.

I had a great year. I had an amazing birthday party last year, and a wonderful one this year.

I went to the tour of california bike race, traveled to brazil, went to a fake funeral, went to the masters, made some fun music videos, shot a wedding in france, spoke in germany, partied in vegas, went to many entertaining parties and music shows, got my TRIMIX scuba certification in florida, made a feature film, ran a marathon, went to phoot camp, played in san francisco, moved in with my brother, had friends and family visit me in LA, went 270 feet underwater to a new wreck, had a great christmas, was on a jumbotron in times square for one of the many IE events I participated in, watched a football team lose, and got invited to a film festival. I met a lot of new friends and spent some quality time with old friends. I feel at home in NYC, LA, and MN.

I have some ambitious goals for my 32nd year on this planet - show two features worldwide, figure out how to make money by making things I love, make more photos and video, learn how to date girls, make my friends famous, communicate better, complete projects I start, have my body and mind do what I want it to (through taking care of it better), travel to see more of my good friends and family get married, and save the world.

Honestly, I’m not too old for much, I can still feel childlike wonder, I still make mistakes, I can totally spend 24 hours in a car and enjoy it, my eyesight is actually getting better, and I’ll still try anything once.

Thank you, everyone, for making me who I am.